A child’s shyness when he or she speaks can come from a variety of reasons. Some children are unsure how others would respond to their thoughts. Some may not like talking publicly or around unfamiliar people. Whatever valid reason it may be, you can help them to express their ideas and communicate better. It can be as simple as encouraging your child to speak up at home.
Communication is not just talking, but also developing the social skills and confidence for their daily life. When children speak up, they can express their needs, thoughts and feelings. This is called being a self-advocate. Your child can also make connections and friendships with kids their age. Confidence in speaking is an essential part in problem-solving and working independently, which will be useful in the future.
Giving space for a young bold speaker
Make sure you celebrate your child’s effort every time they speak up at home too, no matter how small. It usually takes some time for progress to be made. If your child makes some mistakes while speaking, it’s okay. Wait until he or she finishes a thought to offer advice on speaking more clearly. A lot of praise and patience for your child encourages them to take risks and be more assured about their thoughts.
Speaking-up practice can be integrated in other everyday activities at home. For example, during story time, motivate your child to read out loud. This helps them learn new words and develop speaking tones. In pretend play, create scenes like working in a restaurant to practice dialogue. Create props like pretend microphones for your child to practice projecting their voice. To work on rhythm, you can also sing songs or recite rhymes to each other.
Helping your child practice positive communication
The next step is to train your child on positive communication habits. It’s easy to tell your child to speak up at home and be more confident, but they would not know what it looks like. According to Katie Hurley from PBS, parents can discuss different communication styles. Confident, assertive speakers would usually make eye contact, speak calmly and firmly and listen carefully to others. You can model these behaviours to your child and set a good example.
You can show positive and negative communication styles through the characters of your child’s favourite book, show or movie, as well as the characters’ body language. To work on their posturing, get your child in front of a mirror to practice standing tall, back straight and arms to their sides, while speaking. Teach your child polite ways to ask for help or state an opinion. You can also ask them open-ended questions so they know how to add details and clarity in their speech.
So what happens if your child has a speech or language delay? It’s about using more support during their confidence-building journey. For example, you can use visual aids like picture cards to strengthen your child’s understanding of the meaning of words. If you use simple, clear language while talking to your child, they can more easily replicate your speech. Consult with a speech therapist or early intervention specialist for a personalised plan you can use at home.
Taking small steps goes a long way
The last step is to start small. To reduce your child’s anxiety with speaking, he or she can speak to small groups of family or close friends, people your child is familiar with. Having your child speak in stress-free environments at home would slowly make them bolder to speak in bigger settings or groups.
Practicing certain phrases to start conversations or request something helps your child carefully build a foundation for expressing their needs or thoughts. Using a mirror, let your child rehearse saying 2-3 assertive statements out loud so they can use it during class or going outside. Questions and statements like “I need some extra time please” will help them be a young bold speaker and self-advocate.
